Christmas.  My favorite time of the year by far.   I dress festively every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas day with sweaters, jewelry and hats.  I love shopping for others and finding gifts that people really want.  But Christmas itself is such a letdown for me; especially this year. What I really want is to spend Christmas with my kids where ever we happen to be. To be together, open gifts and maybe play a few games.  But my youngest went to Wisconsin, my son is home from college but doesn’t really want to do anything family orientated and my oldest daughter had to work.  No gift opening (yet), no family togetherness and just no sense that it is a special day.  It is a huge let down for me.  My youngest called from Wisconsin and described her day and it was a Christmas that I dream of.  As far as my day was concerned, I cleaned the living room and kitchen, practiced my clarinet and in general, spent the day mostly alone.  I just feel sad that I spend each season full of anticipation and I have no one to share it with.  I got several “Merry Christmas'” from Facebook friends but in general, it seems like an afterthought if I get a greeting from my family.  I just don’t know how a day that is so important to me gets lost in the shuffle of day to day life. And I wonder how the people that I feel closest to, don’t see how much this one day means to me.  And honestly, it doesn’t have to be the 25th.  We can celebrate any day as long as we are together.  But it doesn’t seem like anyone else wants that togetherness.  Of course a person only gets as much as they give; perhaps I’m not making it clear how much I want that family time.  Perhaps I set myself up for disappointment year after year.  And I have to remember that I can’t make others feel something they just don’t feel.  I need to find a way to make the day feel special regardless of how people around me act.  I can have that special day; I just have to adjust my approach to the day……

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