My work situation is a source of constant stress.  My boss wrote a bad review and recommended my “dismissal” and I was sent home to work.  I’ve been working on a rebuttal to his assessment for submittal to a boss that is higher up the chain.  I met with the union representative earlier this week and was told it was time to turn in the response.  What a relief!! As long as it wasn’t turned in, I felt that I needed to work on it.  I kept tweaking it and adding information and to be honest, I felt stuck in the process.  As long as the due date loomed in the future, I couldn’t commit to saying it was finished.  But now I know definitively that I am done and it is a good feeling.

Unfortunately, the union rep doesn’t feel there is much of a chance of overturning my boss’ assessment.  Maybe a 5% chance of succeeding and being reinstated to my job.  I’ve been off long enough now that I had already come to that conclusion so it wasn’t a bitter pill for me.  But just to cover all of my bases, I also went to consult with a lawyer.  I don’t want to look back at this and wish I had done more to get reinstated so I figured a consultation with an employment lawyer would be another step to check off on my quest for fairness.  The consultation went as expected and I heard information that I already knew.  It would be hard to prove any type of discrimination and expensive.  It would cost 5 to 10,000 dollars with no guarantee of success.  That is definitely money that I do not have.

So today, I put in my intent to retire on February 3, 2017.  It was like filling my lungs with helium.  I felt instantly lighter and had a sense of looking forward to the future.  Suddenly, February 3 can’t come soon enough!  I talked to a retirement counselor who was very helpful; I started feeling more optimistic about life in general.  I don’t necessarily want to leave NASA with such a black cloud over my record but I’m letting go of that.  I always said that I would retire at my first opportunity and that would have been at my last birthday so this may be just the thing to make changes to move me towards happiness.  I am definitely looking forward to starting my retirement at the beginning of next month……..

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