For the last several years, Tuesday is one of my favorite days of the week. It is the day I have band practice and I rarely let anything interfere with band nights. I love going to band practice. Heck, I even love practicing during the week to get ready for band night!
But tonight, some person has interfered with my peace of mind and the sense of security I felt about leaving my car unattended in the parking lot. When I began driving off after band practice, my front passenger window crumbled inward. Initially, I was incredibly confused. My mind couldn’t grasp what I was seeing because it was so far outside of my paradigm. Then I began creating scenarios that fit with what I was seeing. I went through several possibilities before theft even entered my mind. Once it occurred to me that I had been robbed, I looked for my purse. It was no longer where I had left it. It was in the car which relieved me at first; I didn’t think I had been robbed since my purse was still in the car. But then I looked inside of my purse. My wallet was there but when I looked inside of the wallet, it was empty of cash. I had three $100 bills, a couple of $20s and a $5 bill and these were missing. It is funny how your mind tries to protect you – even though it was obvious that the money was missing, my mind went into denial and I rooted through my entire purse looking for my money when I knew good and well that it was gone. As I rooted through my purse, I discovered that my medication was also gone. I just bowed my head in despair over this information. My medication is necessary for my chronic back pain and RLS. I knew the next few days could be uncomfortably painful.
It was hard to do, but I called 9-1-1 to report the theft. I hate to ask for help, I hate to inconvenience others and I hate to make phone calls but I had to bite the bullet and shake off my phobias in order to make a police report. I knew it was the right thing to do but it was still hard for me to make that phone call. I always wait until everybody else has left before leaving; I do this to be sure no one has car problems or any other issues in leaving practice. The band president usually leaves around the same time as me; we both look out for each other. But since I started driving off before I noticed the breakage, she didn’t realize I had a problem. I was alone in the parking lot waiting on the police officer to arrive.
He arrived fairly quickly and took a report. That part of the incident was a fairly good experience. He said this is happening all over town. As I drove home, I kept thinking about what I could have done differently and my mind got around to blaming myself. But now I’ve had a little longer to think about things and I wonder why we have the tendency to blame ourselves when someone else exhibits bad behavior. No matter where I leave my purse (under my seat in this instance), I should be able to trust that my possessions will remain unmolested while I’m away from my car. Everytime I glanced over at my broken window, I felt anger towards that unknown person that actually felt it was ok to break my window to take my things. Granted, it could have been worse – they did leave my debit card so I won’t have to get that replaced but I’m not sure I want to feel grateful towards someone who has violated my peace of mind and trust in others……