house project · random thoughts


I have been overcome with such a sense of lethargy that I am incapable of getting anything done.  There is plenty that I could be doing….strike that, there is plenty I should be doing but I can’t find my motivation.  I see the same old problems around the house and really don’t know where to start in digging out from the mess that has developed from years of inactivity.  Part of the problem is the house itself; the house is so seriously decrepit that cleaning feels like a waste of time.  The floor in the living room is collapsing and really can’t be cleaned due to the material used in the floor.  The cabinets in the kitchen seem to stay so dirty – much more so than in any house I have ever lived.  No amount of cleaning seems to help improve the situation.  I do know that having six dogs does not help the problems in any way but they are all rescues that I couldn’t turn away.  But that does not explain the entropy in which we find ourselves.

And then there is my bedroom.  My eldest daughter tends to throw away things that she decides is no longer necessary without regard to my feelings.  So over the last few years, I have safeguarded some items in my bedroom that I want to use in my next home.  It does make me look uncannily like a hoarder but I feel I have no recourse.  I have more clothes than I know what to do with and would like to trim down what I have.  I don’t mind getting rid of things but it the item is still useful, I want it to be donated rather than thrown away.  Cleaning my bedroom is a project that has been on my radar for well over a year but I just don’t know where to start.  Logically, I know I should just pick up an item and begin the sorting process but there is just so much stuff.  I have chronic back pain and being on my feet for long periods of time is quite painful but I know I could start with 15 minute chunks of time and that would be a step in the right direction.

Then there is the new house project.  I need to get a tax consultant to figure out how best to use the money I have, I need to get a builder, I need to finalize a plan.  All of those tasks need my immediate attention but I’m in a rut of lethargy in which I’m wallowing.  All of the tasks that I would like to complete will take my active attention.  Nothing will “just happen” if I wait long enough.  A builder is not going to call me and ask to build a house for me.  I’m not going to come home to an organized bedroom.  It is time to shake off my….let’s face it; my laziness.  I have to focus my efforts and begin to start with the small tasks.  And really, even the big tasks are just a series of small tasks.  Nothing is impossible, no matter how unimaginable it may seem at first glance.  I just need to start with baby steps.  I will start on these baby steps this week and I know I will be able to look forward to order returning to the chaos I have created…….

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