Christmas is my favorite holiday. Unfortunately, two of my three children don’t share my love of the festivities. My oldest daughter (K1) wants nothing to do with Christmas and doesn’t do anything to celebrate it. My son lives in Chicago and will celebrate but doesn’t get the family connection. He had the month of December off from work but didn’t find it important to visit…despite the fact he could have ridden down with his sister who drove past Chicago on a trip to Wisconsin. I offered to drive him home after Christmas but he said there is nothing to do in Huntsville. {Can you tell it was a painful realization to know visiting his Mom was not enough of a draw for him to make a free trip?} It is nice to know how much he enjoys Chicago, but I always thought he would try to come home for the holidays to be with family. He doesn’t mind being alone, in fact, he prefers it. It isn’t his fault that I have this vision of a family Christmas that includes him being here. Luckily my youngest daughter (L) loves Christmas as much as I do. I have her with whom to share all those fun holiday events!
A few days before Christmas Eve, I got an invitation from L’s fiancé’s (C) mother to share in their Christmas Eve celebration. This would include dinner, gift opening, and church. I debated {for a really short time!} on whether I would be an awkward interloper in their holiday celebration, but ultimately decided it was just what I needed. An evening celebrating Christmas with a family {stress on the word family} that enjoys being together for the holidays. I didn’t need any presents to unwrap {although I did get a lovely present!}; the gift was watching a family celebrate their love for each other.
After the gifts were opened, we went to a late Christmas Eve service at the church where L and C plan to marry. The Church of the Nativity is a historic landmark in Alabama and had its first service in 1859. It is a beautiful church in a beautiful setting. The service was similar to the Catholic services I grew up with. Going through the rituals of prayers and communion brought back all the masses of my childhood. That was a gift to me as well.
Today, my roommate (M) made dinner for several friends. L and C came over to share the meal and exchange gifts. She is the only one of my kids who understands a Mom also enjoys opening a gift or two. I thought maybe K2 would send a gift down with Lucy, but it just doesn’t register with him {despite my hints, no, not even hints. I was far more overt than that!}. I was hurt that he sent gifts for Lucy and the dogs, but didn’t think about me. He told me he didn’t need anything for Christmas but I did send a few gifts up to him. What he doesn’t understand is how much I enjoy trying to find just the right gift for a person, especially one of my kids. L and C came downstairs and we exchanged gifts. Yes, despite L being a dental student, she came bearing gifts! It doesn’t matter to me the value of the gift, it is the fact that she took some time to pick out a few things for me to open. I am touched by the thoughtfulness of the gifts she chose. I went for many years with no gifts at all, so I am grateful for everything she gives me. I had a few gifts that C could open and had stockings filled with small gifts for all three of us. I always did a stocking from Santa for the kids, and since Santa wouldn’t ignore anyone, I put together a stocking for myself as well. Now the kids are too old to believe in Santa but the tradition of the stockings continues!
This was a pretty good Christmas. I didn’t get my family Christmas with my kids, but I got to decorate, I got to share in a family celebration and I spent some great times with L. It is hard, but I need to accept that my older kids do not have the same attachment to Christmas as I do. As a Mom, I feel a sense of family that I, unfortunately, didn’t get across to my kids. I will just appreciate the time I can spend with any of my kids at Christmas. And I’ll continue to think, the more the merrier! Merry Christmas!……
I Was Just Saying 